Past few weeks saw me a bit (ha, that’s putting it lightly) harassed with my day job, Tushy Wushy, and the boys. I was too caught up in it that I didn’t think that I was stressed. I totally forgot about it, until I talked to P’s teachers and a friend of mine.
I told them that it seemed to me that P had anger issues. The few weeks right after the holidays saw P always yelling, always upset about something. Of course, I was upset that he was upset (well, and vise versa). I would end up (crucify me now) spanking him (now I realize that it is true what they say about blind rage�I try to be careful about not going over the edge) without clear reason, just that I was pushed to the edge and he was not listening.
Finally, last week, I spoke with them and told them what had been happening to us. He was normal in school, his teachers said, and that perhaps, I was just stressed. Indeed, I was. Because as I was narrating to P’s teachers my troubles with him, I actually broke down and cried and used my Mom’s line “I don’t know what to do anymore!!!” (She used this line when I was a teenager, discovering boys.)
My friend said the same thing: that I was probably just stressed and it reflects and P just reflects it back at me, which is why he was acting that way.
I told S about it. That night, I took a break, and we took P out to dinner. We spent some time in Fully Booked, then headed to Gloria Maris Hot Pot. P had TEN pieces of siomai, in addition to the small bowl of noodles he ate. More than that, he was pretty much listening to us that night.
After that experience, I realized that I needed to chill some days. Maybe get off the world for a few minutes, and get on again when I’m a better me.