Who do I love more?

I am cleaning out my inbox. I found this email I sent my friends early last year:

—–Original Message—–
From: T, J AvP/PH
Sent: Monday, January 19, 2004 9:17 AM
To: ‘JSO’
Cc: ‘EGP’
Subject: i’ve thought about it…

Ji, (B too!)
You know, I really thought about your question last Saturday–I actually wrote this in my journal this morning:
I think during the weirdest times. Yesterday, while taking a shower, a question that a friend asked last Saturday suddenly came to me: “Who do you love more, your husband or your child?”

The instinctive answer I had (and it was the answer I told her) was that I loved my child more (off the record, of course). But yesterday, during that weird moment in the shower, it struck me�that no matter how much I profess my crazy, unfathomable love for my son; I ultimately love my husband more.

Why? He’s given me all the space in the world to love my child. From the moment P was born, he knew he was going to be my number two for at least the first few years of P’s life. He stepped back (and discovered online gaming�which he�s never recovered from!), gave me time to bond, love and be madly crazy in love with P.

He’s allowed me to dictate (most of the time, that is�) how we bring him up, what kind of food we give him, what types of activities he should indulge in. He’s given me free reign with P.

It’s true, I look at P, and I can say wholeheartedly how madly in love I am with him. He just tickles me pink all the time. But then, I know whom to thank for all this–my husband. And, I guess, just like how I feel for P, I can truly say, I am truly, madly, crazy in love with him for giving me all this.
Just thought I’d share it with both of you…
Have a good week ahead, guys!

I realize that this has again happened. I’m glad though that S’s more participative with K. (Wonder if it’s because of K’s disarming smile or because S’s truly ready for fatherhood? Hahahahaha!)

S’s coming home today from his trip abroad. I’m glad he is. I miss him like crazy.


About jencc

a constant work-in-progress View all posts by jencc

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