Guilt

During this entire Ondoy and Pepeng experiences, there was one prominent word that I felt — guilt. However, it was something I couldn’t (and still can’t!) process.

I felt guilty that the people in so many places lost their homes. I felt guilty I couldn’t give more (there’s a point when you just have to give and it hurts — been there several times). I felt guilty I was thinking of business while people are sardined in evacuation centers. I felt guilty that I couldn’t join my friends in our breastfeeding missions. I felt guilty that I was still living my life normally (save for our basement, lol!) while so many people stopped their lives (for weeks!) to help out.

I have a dream

I have a dream.

I want to build each barangay a day care center where people from that area can bring their children, ages 3 and below, to.  There will be an educated and well paid preschool teacher who will conduct activities, initially half-day, to ensure that the children from that area learn something worthwhile.

Patience is a virtue…

…that everyone should learn.

Since I had skipped a day of my couch potato to mean running machine, I knew I just had to get up this morning.

P is sick and stayed home from school so I figured running a bit later (6AM) than usual (5AM) would be better.

And I did. And it was good.

During my run, I get strange thoughts (like when I shower). But today’s thought wasn’t too strange. I thought about patience. And how this routine I’m doing actually teaches me patience. When I decided I wanted to run again, I knew I would like to do a marathon (at some point or another).

The 80s

I am truly a child of the 80s! I lurv this song…

And you wanted to dance, so I asked you to dance
But fear is in your soul,
Some people call it a one night stand, but we can call it paradise

And I love Duran Duran. This is one of my most favorite pictures of them!

Plus here’s the video! What a blast from the past!!!

Just in case you were wondering

Did you know that hens and roosters mate? Apparently, hens make eggs pretty much like humans do, except with shells. And when the roosters don’t mate with the hens (I guess in our terms, that’s pretty much “have sex”), they come out as “dud eggs” or those that find their way to mealtime. AND, if they DO have sex, or mate, then, there will be a little chickie.

Just thought you might want to know.

Pinoy Boys = Pampered Boys

Someone mentioned to me over lunch that his boss, X, was kawawa (pitiful) because X’s secretary was away.

I told that someone that X will do just fine, as he’s a “big boy” already.

It suddenly occurred to me how much we pamper our boys. I can’t imagine S living alone. He’ll positively die…not because of natural causes, but maybe because his house will grow to be a dump (I can’t imagine him cleaning). Well, he’ll probably spend so much money on disposable items. (NOW I know why he has never taken up his dad’s offer for him to study abroad…and I thought it was because he couldn’t leave me and the kids! Ha!)

Why do we pamper our men?

Well, they like to be pampered…they feel loved and taken cared of. (And it’ll be easier for us to get our way if we give them their way first. Hahaha!)

Is it because we come from a patriarchial society? Most probably. Women used to be treated like second class citizens—in fact, sometimes, we still are.

And, perhaps, because of this, it’s our way of “taking care” of our men.

Sometimes, I have to stop and remind myself to stop doing things for P and K so that they’ll be self-sufficient. I realize now that K is more independent than P. Well, you know how it is, K being the second child and all…less attention is given (guilty as charged! But you should see how independent he is! He can climb tables so quickly!).

Well…we love our men enough to pamper them and they love us because of it…so, sometimes, I think, why fix a good thing when it’s not broke? =) (But I promise to give the boys space for them to grow…for S, well, he’s an old dog and it’s difficult to teach old dogs new tricks, isn’t it?)

AKTIBISTA!

Am I losing it? I was in GB4 earlier to have my Mom’s LV bag fixed. The lining had worn over time, and to preserve it, she wanted it re-lined.

GB4′s stores are the sossiest of all stores in Ayala Center. Here, you find Louis Vuitton, Tod’s, Gucci, Prada, Charriol,…well, you get the idea. On my way out, I suddenly felt so much guilt just being there. I wondered how people could blow a hundred grand on carry cases from Louis Vuitton, twenty grand on shoes from Gucci, and God-knows-how-much on clothes and bags from the other stores while so many people are becoming poorer out there.

They say, of course, that it was their hard-earned money (I so hope!), so they have the right to spend it. And I do agree, too…but then, I can’t swallow that!

I walked the rich surroundings of Ayala Center and felt guilty. I’ve probably lost it.